Couples therapy for when love feels complicated
For couples who care deeply about each other but feel stuck in conflict, disconnection, or patterns they don’t fully understand — especially when old family experiences or past relationship wounds keep resurfacing.
There can be a deep fear of having worked hard to build a thoughtful, stable life — only to realize you might be repeating something familiar and painful anyway.
Most couples who come to see me are not falling apart on paper.
From the outside, their lives often look put-together: work is going well, things are getting done, responsibilities are met. But inside the relationship, things can feel very different. Arguments escalate quickly or never really resolve. One partner often feels like they’re carrying the emotional weight of the relationship, trying to fix what isn’t working, while the other feels overwhelmed, criticized, or unsure how to engage. What once felt natural and fun now feels uncertain or fragile.
For many couples, it doesn’t just feel like a rough patch — it feels like a quiet crisis. Over time, the conflict and stuckness start to change how you see the relationship itself. There are moments that feel almost like the old days — easy conversation, shared humor, a sense of us. And then another argument lands, or something small turns heavy, and suddenly you’re right back in it, wondering:
Are we actually right for each other?
Did I choose wrong?
Are we becoming the kind of couple I promised myself I’d never be?
That question often carries extra weight for people who grew up around chaotic substance use, emotional chaos, or in unhappy homes. There can be a deep fear of having worked hard to build a thoughtful, stable life — only to realize you might be repeating something familiar and painful anyway. When the relationship struggles, it can feel less like a problem to solve and more like confirmation of your worst fear about yourself, your future, or the family you hoped to create.
I GoT YOU
You’re allowed to slow down and understand what is really happening between you.
Many of the couples I work with are thoughtful, capable people who are used to figuring things out on their own. When insight, effort, and good intentions haven’t shifted the pattern, it can start to feel confusing — and even a little scary.
In our work, we slow the moments down, look beneath the surface of the conflict, and make sense of the emotional patterns driving it. You don’t have to come in with perfect clarity — just enough willingness to be honest and curious together.
Feel familiar?
Arguments escalate faster than you expect — and feel hard to stop once they start.
You leave conversations feeling misunderstood, blamed, or on the defensive.
Even during calm moments, you’re bracing for the next blow-up or shutdown
You question if you are still right for each other, or if you will every find a connected path forward
Practice commitments
My work is affirming of queer, trans, and gender-diverse clients and relationships. I actively attend to how racism, sexism, cultural context, and power dynamics shape emotional safety and connection. I practice from a weight-inclusive, non-diet lens and do not pathologize bodies. These are not side considerations in my work — they are part of how I understand relationships and care.
How Couples therapy with me works
In sessions, I pay close attention to what happens between you in real time — not just what you report about your arguments, but how the pattern unfolds when you talk to each other in the room. I notice where one of you gets sharper, where one of you pulls back, and where the meaning of what you are trying to say gets lost underneath the reaction.
When conflict escalates, I help slow the interaction down so we can understand the emotion and attachment needs underneath the reaction, not just the surface content of the disagreement. When things feel distant or stuck, I help bring forward what is often felt but rarely spoken.
We look closely at the patterns you get pulled into, where they come from, including family-of-origin and past relationship experiences, and how to interrupt them in ways that create more safety, clarity, and emotional honesty between you.
This is not script-based communication coaching. It is depth-oriented work that helps you experience each other differently so change happens at the level of the emotional bond, not just the words you use.
