Why is this so hard for us?
You’re used to doing everything you can to make things work.
On paper, your life looks successful. But inside your relationship, something feels confusing, lonely, or overwhelming. The same effort that works everywhere else just isn’t working here.
You’ve worked hard to build a different life than what you saw growing up — but the same painful patterns keep showing up.
Relationships can’t be fixed through effort alone..
Sound Familiar?
You may look like you have everything together on the outside..
But your relationship feels confusing, exhausting, and lonely.
Conversations escalate faster than you expect, or end in silence.
You feel anxious when things feel unresolved.
You replay arguments for hours afterward.
Your partner avoids talking about problems or shuts you out.
You try harder and harder to fix things, but nothing changes.
You love each other — but something keeps getting in the way.
When you Never Experienced a Healthy Relationship Model
Many of the couples that I work with didn’t grow up seeing steady, emotionally healthy relationships.
You may have learned to:
stay hyper-aware of others’ moods
take responsibility for keeping the peace
avoid conflict completely
expect rejection or disconnection
hide needs or emotions
cope through control, withdrawal, anger, or substance use
These patterns once helped you survive difficult environments.
But now they create distance, misunderstanding, and painful cycles in your relationship.
Nothing is wrong with you.
You learned what you were shown.
And new patterns can be learned.
This is where I come in:
I help couples understand the deeper emotional patterns underneath conflict, not just communication techniques.
I won’t sit quietly or act as a referee.
I actively help you:
slow down painful cycles in real time
understand what drives each partner’s reactions
name emotions that are hard to express
interrupt patterns that keep repeating
build connection that actually lasts
My work is direct, collaborative, and deeply compassionate.
My work is direct, collaborative, and deeply compassionate. It is also honest. I will let you and you and your partner know when I see you engaging in behavior that is interfering with the goal of building a safe and loving relationship, and I will compassionately hold you both accountable for behaviors that hurt eachother.
Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum.
I take a social-contextual approach to therapy, meaning we pay attention to how culture, identity, and systems shape your relationship.
This includes how experiences of racism, sexism, heteronormativity, and social expectations influence:
emotional expression
power and responsibility
conflict patterns
relationship roles
connection and safety
I work with intercultural couples, interracial couples, queer couples, and partners navigating complex identity experiences.
Our work centers mutual respect, shared power, and relationships that feel truly egalitarian.
Changing coping patterns that no longer work
Relationship distress often shows up alongside coping patterns that once helped — but now create distance.
This may include:
chaotic or concerning substance use
emotional withdrawal or avoidance
anger that escalates quickly
perfectionism or control
shutting down and storming off when overwhelmed
not knowing when to walk away
people pleasing and overextending yourself to hold everything together
Together we understand why these patterns developed, what these patterns used to or maybe still protect, and build healthier ways of coping and connecting.
What change can look like
feel calmer during and after conflict (i.e. no more yelling or criticism)
understand each other more deeply and emotionally
repaired trust after repeated hurt
increased collaboration and balanced partnership
About Dr. Brittany Sievers
I’m a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in relationship therapy, substance use, and interpersonal trauma. My work integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, attachment theory, trauma-informed care, harm reduction, and a social-justice perspective.
I help thoughtful, motivated people break painful patterns and build relationships that feel secure, intentional, and deeply connected.
Start here
You don’t have to keep repeating the same painful cycle.
If you’re ready for a different kind of conversation about your relationship, I invite you to reach out.